a story about a girl and two boys – 5

I’m running late!! It’s 3pm and I haven’t even showered. That was some nap, I needed that. I haven’t had a good night sleep for I don’t know how long. This new project has managed to get my mind off things, but I haven’t slept well either. I need to get to the workshop soon. Shoot, I will only have a few hours to write. I may need to talk to the owner to let me stay a bit later. I found myself smiling thinking about that guy. What a funny dude. I remember him mumbling words when I first visited his workshop. He’s one talented artist but words definitely fail him. He never speaks to me again ever since, which is good because I need to concentrate, but sometimes I feel his stares following me and strangely I don’t mind.

I shower quickly; dress up in my usual writing ensemble: white tee and jeans; then tie my hair up in a ponytail. It’s getting too long, I need a haircut. Charlie loves it long but he hates it when I tie it up. I think that’s partly why I keep doing it. Finally he has something to say about something. His silence has been too loud lately. It’s all there is between us. Silence. And I hate it. I don’t understand why people say that love is when two people can share comfortable silence together. Trust me, when silence gets comfortable, when it gets too comfortable, you’d better start worrying because something is definitely wrong.

We used to have so many things to say to one another. I remember that we used to abuse the phone and talk until early am. We used to laugh so hard at each other’s jokes. We used to be happier. Those days are distant memories now. I don’t know what went wrong. I keep trying to figure it out, but the best explanation I can come up with is that we just grew apart. I can’t recall the last time we had a real talk. Our daily conversations – if we talk at all – are mostly about what we should get for dinner or who should go get the laundry. I don’t blame him, really. If any, I’m as much to blame. But for goodness sake, I’ve tried to make it right. I tried making him see that we’re not alright. But again and again, it’s like trying to talk to a brick wall. He just didn’t see it. He doesn’t.

At one point I guess I just stopped caring. I told myself that maybe this is what’s normal and I’m just being dramatic. I stopped trying to reach out to him and started focusing more on myself. That was when I had the idea for this new project. I’m not happier but I guess I’m not as sad anymore. I have something to distract me from my futile efforts of fixing a relationship that supposedly isn’t broken according to my Charlie. I didn’t even bother telling him about it, because I know that he will just nod – indifferently – and I don’t think I can handle another dismissal from him. Not yet. I guess somewhere inside I still do care and that’s why leaving him is not an option.

Locking the front door I heard a car pulling into the driveway. It’s Charlie. What is he doing home this early, oh God I hope he’s alright… I walk up to him and see from afar a huge flower bouquet. I stop to a halt and frown. Charlie and flowers no longer belong in the same sentence. Something is definitely wrong. He walks up to me with a huge grin plastered on his face. I get even more worried because he only grins when he’s nervous. And then he gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him.

Wait, what just happened?! Did he just propose to me? Where did this come from? I am at lost for words. I guess I should be happy, but with all that I’ve been feeling lately, all my reservation about his silence, I am suddenly swarmed with doubts. But how can I say no to my Charlie? Me saying no would mean him walking away and I don’t think I’m ready to sever the ties with the guy I’ve known all my life. I look at him in the eye, I put the smile that I haven’t smiled for a while and then I say yes. He smiles then pulls me into a tight hug. But being held in his embrace, all I can think about is that I will miss today’s writing session and somehow, I don’t know why, the workshop owner’s awkward nods and stares…